Culture Shock

Because one wedding just isn't enough Scott and I had a Cambodian Reception for his family in June. I was able to meet a lot of his friends and relatives and learn so much more about his culture. His mom was very generous in planning everything for the Cambodian Reception and I was more than grateful for her efforts ‘cause lets face it I know nothing about Cambodians. I was told the reception would involve an 8 course dinner and that I’d be wearing several traditional Cambodian outfits and would need to be in California at least 5 days ahead of time so my outfits could be assembled. The more I thought about this the more uncomfortable I got. Sure I’m up for almost anything but I’m also a head taller and 40 lbs heavier than most Cambodian women. I was going to be “that big white girl” that can’t use chopsticks!

When we got to California sure enough I was about a foot taller than Grandma and 6 inches taller than all of Scott’s aunts and even his uncle. They were all very kind and welcomed me into the family with open arms and big smiles. Scott’s relatives have been progressively come to the US for the last 25 years and some speak little to no English. So there was a lot of smiling and nodding on my part. I really had no idea what was going on half the time.

It was decided that I’d wear 3 different outfits the night of the wedding reception. Traditionally Cambodian weddings can last 1 to 3 days and the bride changes clothes like a million times or something. Since I’m white and we’re Mormon we shortened it to a single evening. However, as the bride I had to start getting ready at noon the day of the reception. In Cambodian culture they hire a woman through a Cambodian bridal store to dress the bride and bridesmaids and to do the hair and make up for the bride, bridesmaids, and family of bride and groom. I felt like I had a 5 year supply of hairspray in my hair and years worth of make-up on my face. Then I was dressed. The first outfit I wore to greet the guests was silver. I wore a traditional heavily beaded thick sash on top and a traditional wrapped skirt on bottom along with 10 thick bracelets, 5 on each arm, 2 bulky anklets on each leg, 2 long necklaces, a metal belt with large buckle, an upper arm band, big dangly earrings, and a tiara. I felt like a warrior princess. My coworkers said I looked like a Cambodian Barbie Doll. I greeted all of our guests in this outfit.

The reception began at 6:30. By 7:00 most of the white guests had arrived. By 8 the Cambodians had all come. Scott, his parents and I then marched to the stage and welcomed everyone and announced the food would then be served. Then I was whisked away to change into outfit number 2. This was basically the same as the first outfit but in blue and gold instead, which meant all of the jewelry had to be changed as well. I realize later looking at the wedding photos, that I wasn’t the only one changing. Most of Scott’s aunts had 2 to 3 different dresses they wore that night.

Freshly attired in blue and gold, it was time for Scott and me to collect the money. Cambodians traditionally give money instead of gifts. We provided a stack of envelopes on each table in order to facilitate this. Depending on the crowd at the table we were given different tasks to do in order to receive the money. Many of the older more traditional Cambodians wished us well and gave us a Cambodian blessing and handed us the envelopes. Others made Scott to jump as the tallest person at the table stood on a chair and held the envelops as high as he could. At another table we were required to split a wintergreen lifesaver in half with our teeth. Scott had to drop and do 25 push-ups at his step-brothers’ table. It was an adventure to earn those envelopes of money and well worth the effort.

Once the money had been collected I rushed off again to change; this time into my wedding dress. Scott and I had our “first dance” which led to the evening ending in dancing. I managed to avoid the electric slide, which I had been told to practice, because Scott and I were busy saying good-bye and thank you to our guests. It was a really fun night. Scott’s mom put so much effort it to making everything so nice and we are very grateful for her hard work. While I never imagined I would ever have a wedding quite like this but I’m so glad I did!